Guest Post: Fuzzy

Hi everyone! My name is Fuzzy. Officially it's The Fuzzinator, but nobody really calls me that—it sounds kind of scary, and I'm not scary at all! (Unless you're a rodent or a birb. If so you should be very scared! More on that in a minute.) I want to start by giving a special thanks to Loki for inviting me to guest post on his blog. I asked Mr. Purrman if I could guest post on his blog, but he just gave me the Dink-Eye.

Anyway, I live in Washington, DC, and I got my start as what they call a "community cat." That means I'm kind of a feral cat—I used to live all on my own in an alley, foraging for food wherever I could find it and sleeping in little nooks here and there. Kind of a hard life, to tell you the truth. Then some people took me to the doctor, which was really scary, but I know they just wanted to help me. After they gave me some medicine and spayed me, they clipped the very tip of my ear so that people would know I'd been to the doctor. And then they took me back to my alley to make my own way in life through hard work and perseverance, and gave me the job of keeping the local rodent population down—it's a very important job, and I'm great at it! But this kind of life did leave me pretty shy around humans.

At some point, the Nice Lady and the Kind of Scary Man saw me in their yard, and they started putting food and water out for me. 

It was really yummy, and it was nice to have cat food to eat instead of just rodents or whatever scraps I could find, and drinking out of puddles and stuff. They also made a nice soft warm spot for me in their garage with some blankets, and even put a little heated house out there. 

That was pretty great, except that sometimes some other cats from the neighborhood would try to steal my food or use my garage, and that could be a little stressful. One time, for a few weeks, there was this really strange-looking cat that the Nice Lady called "Possum" that kept stealing my food, and pooping all over the place. It was very rude!

Anyway, after about ten years of the Nice Lady and Kind of Scary Man feeding me every day, I decided maybe it was safe enough to try coming inside their house. I'm so glad I did! I was pretty nervous at first, especially when the Kind of Scary Man made a lot of noise. But after a year or so of running in and out for a few minutes at a time, I started hanging out a little longer, and even tried sitting on the Nice Lady's lap. It was really fun! I stuck my butt in her face and dug my claws into her thigh, just the way humans like. And in return, she gave me very gentle strokes and told me how pretty I was. It was really nice and made me purr a lot—I have a really good, gentle purr—so I started coming inside more and more, and even sometimes snuggle with the Kind of Scary Man. 

Now I'm a really good lap cat! The Nice Lady says I'm not quite clear on what "lap" means, but I have no idea what she's talking about. 

Also, Mr. Purrman lets me play with his toys—I mean, train with his training implements—which is so much fun! I never had any toys training implements when I was a kitten. I have a complicated relationship with Mr. Purrman, though: he's so charming and handsome and smart, and he mostly leaves me alone, but when he comes too close to me I sometimes hiss at him. I know that's not the nicest thing to do, but I can't help it—after the life I've led looking out for myself in the alley, I guess other cats just make me kind of nervous. But we don't actually fight or anything like that.

The Kind of Scary Man likes to say I have a sweet punim, he says that's the Yiddish word for 'face'. I don't know what Yiddish is, but I do have an awfully sweet face—even though I'm big and tough and grown up, I still kind of look like a kitten!

But I'm definitely no kitten—I'm an extremely skilled hunter with big strong paws! I love to bring the Nice Lady a fresh VLM (very large mouse), RSR (regular-size rat) or birb as a present. 

But for some reason, every time I do, it just disappears completely—I don't know why the Nice Lady always eats the whole thing herself instead of sharing with me! Kind of impolite, but that's okay, I notice she does a lot of digging in the yard whenever I bring her a present, so she probably works up a big appetite. (Also, the Nice Lady keeps trying to tell me it's "bird", not "birb"—but I'm kind of a world-class expert on birbs so I don't know why she refuses to believe me.)

Well, that's enough about me for now. Thanks again to Loki for letting me contribute here—I'm really excited about being a Cat Blogger!